Wow it's been awhile, but I have to admit, I've never really been great at writing in blogs. I have the desire to do so, but I'm just really not great at keeping it up. I'll try, I'll try!
It's funny that I'm acting like a million people read this...but just in case...I'm pregnant!!! I'm still nervous and even though I'm 13 weeks along, I still can't fully relax. One thing about having miscarriages is that it robs you from any enjoyment you could have in pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this as much as possible, but the anxiety is always looming over my head. But today I'm pregnant, and I love it! I've already had three wonderful ultrasounds, and I'm faithful that we will have a healthy, beautiful baby come December.
I've always told myself that I would go back to work after I had babies, but geez, even just being able to get further along in pregnancy, I feel like my priorities are shifting quite a bit. It could be that I'm frustrated with how utterly stressful and pressure-filled my job is, or it could be baby. Or it could be both. As a bank manager, the whole world lies on your shoulders. That is, the world that is your branch - the branch's goals, the branch's financials, the branch's morale, the branch's overall well-being. On top of that, trying to partner with different lines of business is impossible because they expect you to do their job for them. Like you don't have a full enough plate already! My manager is the worst of micro-managers - honestly I'm surprised he doesn't make us track when we go to the bathroom. I come to work and I have to come with a positive attitude and I have to be the cheerleader everyday. As logical as that may sound, and you may think "well yeah, everyone should do that" it can get really tiring sometimes! I have worked so hard to get to a management position, and I truly cannot say that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have an opportunity to go to a Customer Service Manager position. This is a step below my position now, but it's still a management position. I would manage the tellers, or the service team. I would be in charge of the operations of the branch, coaching of the tellers, and keeping the branch operationally effective. The position is in the town I live in, the branch I used to manage. The current CSM is retiring and honestly, the reason I left in the first place was to go to a bigger branch. It would be so nice to be so close to home and to be able to not have the whole branch's well-being resting on my shoulders. I wouldn't have any sales goals, and it wouldn't be my job to manage that at all. Sounds like a dream right now. I'm afraid that they won't keep the pay I make now, and that's really my only issue. If they could do that, then I don't see why not.
But again, I feel like I'm taking a step back. But like my hubby said "it's not a step back if you're happy." Such a smart man. Sigh
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